How?

I woke up thinking I was holding you. The thought of it makes my stomach turn. My dream was so real. We were happy we were together. We fell asleep holding each other and that's when I woke up thinking I was waking up holding you. I can still feel the embrace. Turns out I was holding my comforters and it gave me the illusion that I was once again waking up to you. That was probably the worst one yet. I've woke up crying about you and I've woke up trying to figure out if my dream was real or not but never has it been so real as to where I feel you in my arms. I hate you for leaving me and becoming everything you promised you'd never be but most of all I hate you for making me really fall in love with you. I hate this feeling of lonely you have left me with.

I'll be seeing you,
Manda